Ho Ho! It has been a dreadfully long time since i posted anything here on the ol TYTL. For anyone who cares to know, my living situation changed a bit in the last year and i found it hard to write anything, but now that it’s changed again i can get back to posting semi-irregularly.
And what better way to make a comeback then using someone elses ideas to piggy back off of? Behold:
7 Disappointing Movie Endings and How They Should’ve Finished
I was cruising through Fandom the other day, and came across the above article written by a: Carl Waldron; and i dissented enough for me to want to write down my opinions. I’ve taken the liberty to just copy and paste his observations that i wish to retort to here, all credit of course goes to him of course.
And i also don’t want this to be in bad faith, in fact i have to thank him for giving me some motivation to get on here and start writing again; so thank you Carl (and i’m quite sincere in saying that, wish you the best).
And here we go!
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
“In The Return of the King, after nine hours of running, story expounding and lanky CGI schizophrenics, we are treated to a non-fight with the hordes or Sauron as they plummet to their doom for no good reason. …”
I had a genuinely hard time reading his post after this, and it really is amazing how different a movie experience can be for two people. We both watched the same thing and clearly had extremely different reactions to the same images, i mean really? No good reason? It isn’t enough that the ring was destroyed and Sauron’s gate and tower came crumbling down? Why not have the orcs sucked in as well? Evil has been beaten thoroughly and completely, that much is clear, why does everything need to be explained in detail?
i just don’t understand what he wants with “… a non-fight…” as we’re treated to a rousing speech from Aragorn, a defiant charge, and the Eagles coming; i suppose the 20 minute siege of Minas Tirith wasn’t enough for him and he wanted more.
“If that isn’t enough, the film refuses to end, tricking folks with four separate fade-outs, …”
I agree that Return of the King takes a while to end, and while i didn’t mind it in the theater watching it, further views are a bit of a chore to sit through, i’ll leave thoughts on that for a proper review though.
“…all culminating in Samwise Gamgee literally going home. All of this comes after the good emotional endings as well…”
After reading this i honestly think he misses the point of the movie, unless he’s being satiric; yes the movie could’ve ended with them sailing off with the point of the story being left intact, however Stephen King remarked about the value of details in stories, and how they help flesh it out. Sam returning home is the coda to the Lord of the Rings, as Frodo left home and couldn’t return to it after losing too much, but Sam can because he gained from his journey.
It exemplifies the value and tragedy of change, something that Tolkien was clearly obsessed about, and it is a happy ending that can be quite sad if you as a viewer don’t move past the loss like Sam does and Frodo couldn’t.
“…I never read the books, so it’s hard to say where the story should have ended…”
Reading the books is irrelevant to deciding where the story should end, he watched all the movies; and while yes the film takes a while to get there the story proper ended where it started, in Hobbiton at peace. There’s no better place to end the story, Tolkien clearly couldn’t think of one either, which is why the book ends with Sam returning home.
“…From the standpoint of a person who was sitting in a theater for over two and a half hours, pick one and fade to black already…”
Oh that’s the crux of the issue, he was bored. Well that’s fine, but excuse me for saying it’s a shitty argument.
“…Perhaps with the scene where the king returns, since its, you know, The Return of the King.”
Except for the fact that The Lord of the Rings (meaning the entire story) isn’t about Aragorn becoming king, and his coronation wouldn’t be a good ending as it doesn’t complete the main character’s story (that being Frodo’s).
War of the Worlds
“…That film had zero emotional weight by having Ray come out the other end of an alien invasion in the same place he started — a deadbeat dad dropping off his kids…”
Ray spends the movie learning about the value of his kids, that much is clear (at least for me) when he hugs his son at the end of the film. He proves himself not to be a deadbeat dad, as he protects the younger more helpless one, and allows his older son to grow up; both of these are what good parents should do.
“…The movie spends all this time forcing Ray to be a good dad to his one surviving kid. Let it end that way…”
The movie spends its 2nd and 3rd acts forcing Ray to be a good father to both his children, again he doesn’t just keep his daughter safe he lets his son go try to be a man. It’s all right here, and it’s delivered with the subtlety of a rail gun:
“… Allow Ray to become a single father and feel the guilt of losing his son and ex all in one miserable, alien-filled night.”
To what end and purpose? He’s shown at the beginning of the film to be both regretful of losing his wife and jealous of his kids stepfather and lifestyle. So he starts from a point of loss and gains something by the end, that’s what the movie is about; the rewards of being a good father, not the suffering of being a shitty one.
Eagle Eye
Never seen Eagle Eye, never interested in seeing Eagle Eye, never will see Eagle Eye
Lucy
Other than fodder for an inside joke of mine, i’ll never see it so i can’t comment on it.
The Dark Knight Rises
“Is Batman dead? Was Alfred dreaming Bruce’s ideal retirement? Did Bruce find out where Alfred would be just to dramatically reveal he was alive? Did Nolan not know that “Robin” isn’t actually Robin’s name? The Dark Knight Rises left us with so many baffling questions and unnecessary interpretations, it tainted an already questionably enjoyable film even further….”
We’re on more or less the same page here, all these questions can be asked however i personally liked calling Blake “Robin” at the end. It’s a decent twist, unlike some of the others in the movie but that’s just a matter of personal taste (like almost everything else about movies).
“… If this was to be the final in the Nolan Batman trilogy, take a hard stance and kill Batman. No questions. His noble act would elevate the character to legendary heights within the Nolan Batman universe. …”
I completely agree that Batman should’ve died at the end of Rises, having him alive at the end is needless and ruins the moral of the trilogy; so i’m glad i can find common ground with Carl here.
“… We also didn’t need the clunky, pandering nod to the Boy Wonder. His name is Dick! Get it right.”
Another case of using “we” in referring to how other people should take it, which i never like. It’s semantics absolutely, but it’s not petty, petty is what follows:
How do i know Blake is Dick? Let’s look at the evidence; He’s an orphan to be sure, but Blake isn’t a circus performer, nor were his parents killed by a mob boss, and his name is literally not Dick: it’s Blake. So Carl, you’re wrong, empirically, provably, and objectively wrong.
X-Men: The Last Stand
“… The Last Stand had all the makings of a great comic book movie, marred by stale action scenes … ”
I quite liked Wolverine’s forest scene, it was short, at times brutal, and showed definitively Logan on his own doing what he was best at. Jean Grey’s house fight is also visually distinct, chaotic, shocking and underscored by John Powell’s muscular music.
“… and the unnecessary deaths of two major characters. …”
The Last Stand was billed as the final X-Men movie, back in a forgotten age when franchises could surprisingly come to an end. With that in mind they wanted a sense of finality to the project, so killing off Grey and Xavier, depowering Magneto, Mystique, and Rogue was a way of giving gravitas to the movie. It made it feel like an ending, which is again what it set out to be.
Granted the studios ruined the point of the story by having Xavier still be alive, Magneto still having his powers, and doing everything in their power to retcon The Last Stand out of existence. So be it i suppose, The Last Stand is an undeserved fan favorite punching bag in the same realm as The Phantom Menace and The Matix Revolutions, and that’s just how it goes i suppose.
“… The very end of the film is fine — it’s the final battle that is a mess. Are you telling me you have the opportunity to pit Juggernaut against Colossus and you don’t do it? You better film that CGI battle! Give us a spectacle to root for, unlike the Brotherhood chucking cars at stationary X-Men. Thankfully Deadpool 2 corrected Bryan Singer’s oversight.”
Fan service is the worst thing you can aim to provide to fans, because you’ll never ever please them, and it may come at the expense of the story. It’s best just to ignore them and do what you want to do. Case in point here, we have a story that actually does (or rather did) something weighty to the franchise and people still complain about it.
Edge of Tomorrow
“… I can’t stress this enough — not every story requires the hero to make it to the end. …”
He’s absolutely right, not every story needs the hero to make it to the sunset at the end of the story. Stories like: Terminator, T2, Alien 3, and Jesus Christ Superstar all have their heroes dying to underscore heroic sacrifice and character growth.
But the flipside is true as well, not every story about heroic sacrifice has to end with the hero dying. It all depends on what point a storyteller wishes to convey onto an audience. And with the heroes making it to the end in Edge of Tomorrow, it’s clear that the finality of death and the value of sacrifice isn’t the point the film is trying to make.
And this is specifically the reason why this article irked me enough to write a response that wasn’t necessary; arguing about how a movie should end is inherently arguing about the point of the story; and like Carl can’t stress his point enough, i can’t stress enough about the importance of endings in stories. As the ending is the entire point of the story, and without an ending, the story has no point.
“… Their sacrifice is what makes the ending special. …”
Based on what i ask? The fact that they died? Death in storytelling heroic or not, is nothing new or special. In fact it’s quite banal, The New Testament was first published around 1 AD and we’ve been telling the same stories even longer than that.
Again what is the point the story is trying to communicate, and if the ending is changed how does it affect the whole story? For example: if Phil Connors couldn’t get out of his time loop in Groundhog Day how would that affect the story? Pretty severely no doubt, or more subtly in se7en if Somerset is the one who shoots John Doe instead of Mills (which is actually an ending they excised)?
The Edge of Tomorrow isn’t about heroic sacrifice, it’s about becoming a better person, it’s about gaining something, not about losing something. Cage is a selfish good for nothing coward, who by the end becomes a hero, Rita is a hero who is both lonely and doomed to die. Both gain something substantial at the end of the story, both are rewarded for their struggles, that’s the point the movie is trying to make.
“… The hero dies, the threat is eliminated, everyone else gets to live on. Rewinding time is an even lazier way of giving up the hero back. Next time, just have everyone get iced, aliens included. End on a black screen with the words, “Oh well” up there. Awards galore.”
I get he’s being satirical here, it just isn’t funny, and overall it’s clear what Mr. Waldron expects from these stories: Loss and misery and not what’s gained from going through those tribulations, which is fine, i’m not going to argue that somehow his personal preferences are wrong and i myself like stories that end on a downer as well.
But he has failed to convince me of the merits his endings would give the film’s he’s attempting to improve.
And that wraps up this glorious return to form for me here, it was a bit longer than i thought it would be and i have to thank you if you’ve made it this far.
More to come.
Ten Years Too Late 