The most pressing question i have after watching this movie would have to be:
How many people are watching this movie at this very moment?
There are also other important follow up questions like:
Who is watching this movie?
Where/what demographics of people are watching this?
Why are people watching this movie?
Pursuing any of these answers would be better than actually watching the movie, but lets just get onto it.
Terrorists plant a nerve gas bomb on a plane, counter terrorists use movie magic and logic to infiltrate said plane and bring it down.
At the very least the movie is rated R, which is a good thing as the sudden brutal violence (when it pops up now and again) managed to wake me from my boredom induced stupor.
Steven Seagal dies.
Where to start really?
The first hint at how bad the movie might be is the opening credits list no less than three editors, and on imdb the list goes up to five (granted they are probably throwing in assistant editors in there as well), and the jigsaw puzzle hack job really shows. The entirety of the over long 1st act is all over the place, as multiple vignettes are stitched together in a vain attempt to explain what’s going to happen over the course of the movie. It doesn’t help that the tone often switches from something as mundane as Halle Berry helping a man with his luggage, to a suicide bomber blowing up in spectacular fashion in the blink of an eye.
Since Berry was brought up lets talk actors, the biggest fault to be found is that there’s too many. There are over ten speaking roles in a movie that’s two hours and thirteen minutes long (which is far far far too long for this movie to be going on for). The characters are 2D stamps, with Kurt Russell playing the generically American looking man against the generically foreign looking terrorists. Berry and all the other flight attendants are present only for their good looks, and to give the terrorists women to threaten and kill.
Since length was brought up lets talk about that for a bit, as i said the movie is too long. The over written blurb on the back of the VHS copy i watched promises a movie that’s faster than Speed, and good lord that person had to be on smack to write that. It takes something like a half hour or forty minutes for the movie to actually start with the spec ops guys getting on the plane, then when it does it meanders with the team just wandering around the plane chit chatting and searching for the bomb that’s on board. Sequences that should be tense (like the initial gun fight, and the final landing) are sleep walks, they’re too long, they’re poorly scored, and bad attempts at humour are jarring to say the least considering the film’s serious tone.
Interestingly enough, Roger Ebert defended the movie by calling it a “goofy mess”. But that defense just doesn’t stand for me, not when there’s other brutally violent (Predator), goofy (Demolition Man), or just plain old good (Speed) 80′-90’s action films out there to compare it too.
No. i got a better name for this one it’s a clunker.
You know the type i’m talking about, the one that you squeeze out after eating too much protein and hits the water with a satisfying sound of a job well done, and needless to say it doesn’t float either as it’s so dense it goes straight to the bottom of the bowl. The only thing left is to flush it and forget about it.
OUT OF FIVE